Awards and Accolades

Best Lateral Thinking...

THE WINNER IS:-Dave Hogan

Bemused and confused by the Belgian bathroom fittings... our prize winner could neither turn on the shower nor work the plug to have a bath... SOLUTION=Lie down in the bath and put head under taps!!!

Longest Time to Walk 400 yards...

THE WINNER IS:-Ian Sanders

Bemused and confused by the similarity of the architecture on the beautiful streets of Bruges... our prize winner managed to wander the streets from 2:00a.m. to 5:30a.m. asking the odd passer by where the 'HOTEL AMERICAN' was.. got nothing but blank looks. Decided to 'relieve' himself on a church wall 'so I might get arrested'... No luck... SOLUTION=Finally begged taxi driver (when he found one) to take him to the 'HOTEL AMERICAN'... upon which the taxi driver asked to see his key.. whereby our prize winner discovered he was staying in the 'HOTEl ACADAMIE' all along.

FIRST RESERVE:-Dave & Keith

Bemused and confused by the similarity of the architecture on the beautiful streets of Bruges... (heard this one before) our prize winners managed to wander the streets from 2:00a.m. to 5:30a.m. asking the odd passer by where the hotel was.. got nothing but blank looks. Finally got an early rising postman to show them the way.....

Funniest Wind Up...

THE WINNER IS:-Nick Mellor

THE RUNNER UP IS:-Nick Mellor (on occassions too numerous to mention)

After our trip to Ypres when we got back to Bruges we decided to stop for a 'swift one' on the way back to the hotel. Pete got talking to a Belgian Guy ,his dog (and his wife) at the bar.... and then Nick 'started' in the background... most of course is unpublishable but a few choice phrases might help

"....Classic Signs That.... Black Turtle Neck, Gold Chain, Freddy Mercury 'tash...."; "....He's a Porno Movie Producer....he's lining Pete Slack up to be a leading man" "....Dog is a 'Porno Prop'...." "....Thats his @&*%$! 'beeach'... You'll have to give her one Pete...." "....I'll get a marker pen and write a @&*%$! number on its back...." "....Trap 1 at Belle Vue... Goes like the @&*%$! Clappers...." "....Hey up! he's moving in on someone else!...." "....Look he's @&*%$! stroking him... perhaps its a different kind of @&*%$! porno...." "....Slap-head...." Retort from Belgian "....I understand everything you say you know...." Retort from Nick "....Your still a @&*%$! Slap-head...." "....Look his dog's leaving... and she's taking the mutt with her...."

Worst Place to Recover from a hangover...

THE WINNER IS:-Ian Sanders

'Bloody Hell - Me Heads Spinning' says Ian as we climb the Belfort... the Tall Belfry right in the center of Bruges... Head hurt even more when the full cluster of fifty bells went off 5 feet above this picture...

The Thing that worried 'Gibby' the most...

THE WINNER IS:-The Waiter in the 'Cafe Francais' Restaurant

The rather 'fruity' waiter took a 'shine' to Gibby and got particularly advanced when dancing around the restaurant with a 'mousse Au Chocolat' held over each b#ll##k. Also offered to 'do one' specially for him out of 'white Chocolate'..... ooooooooo-errrrrrrrrrr-Mrssssssss!!!!

Best Attempt to Impersonate Impoverished Asylum Seeker...

THE WINNER IS:-Chris Allen

A picture is worth a thousand words...

Belgian Entrepreneur of the Year Award..

THE WINNER IS:-Barman in Grand Place Bar

Generally prices were very reasonable but one bunch of lads managed to get ripped 48 euros for 7 small beers

Most condescending when pissed...

THE WINNER IS:-Mike Sanders

The night after Ian's 'walkabout' we returned to the 'Pool' bar, to be greeted by the barman we had been chatting to the night before. He said to Ian 'Hey I waved at you from my motorbike last night... it was very late... you looked lost..." To which Ian replied "Believe me I was". At this point (despite the perfectly spoken English thus far) Mike Sanders decided to 'explain' what had happened to his brother.

He said:- "I had gone back to my hotel to sleep" [perform Sleeping 'action' with head on hands]. My brother was 'walking' 'looking' for hotel [PERFORM 'walking' action with fingers and 'looking' action by placing hand on forehead and peering around.]

At this point the pissed off barman said "HEY MAN... I can speak English YOU KNOW"!!!

Group Prize for 'lack of adventure'...

THE WINNER IS:-Nearly Everyone

Beer lovers know that Belgium is the BEERCOUNTRY, home to the most diverse and delicious beers in the world. If you love beer, you also know about Belgium's beautiful beer glasses and gift packs, not to mention the many books about Belgian beer.

...so what do our lot do.....

....Drink Guinness of course....

Bay Canal Watch Lifesaver of the year award...

THE WINNER IS:-Tommy

Stopped Kevin Rix going for a 'midnight dip'

Most Economical with the truth...

THE WINNER IS:-George the coach driver

FRENNY TRAVELLER "Wheres the entrance to the Channel Tunnel George"
GEORGE "Just back there... off the motorway... we drove past it...
ANOTHER FRENNY TRAVELLER "No we didn't George, The Chunnel is to the south of Calais we've come in from the North"
GEORGE "Yes.. Yes thats what I was saying....."

CUSTOMS OFFICER (confronted with a coach load of Lads) "Have you been to any hypermarkets or superstores"
GEORGE "No"
CUSTOMS OFFICER "So your passengers haven't got any Alchohol or Tobacco stowed down below"
GEORGE "No"
(Needless to say after that the coach got stopped & searched)

Having learnt that the M1 is blocked we pulled off the M25 and are proceeding around the A1 junction roundabout to avoid the jam. Suddenly George wrenches the wheel and we rejoin the M25 instead of heading north.
GEORGE (as we pass the M25 sign)"Ohh Shit.... That's his fault, that is" (Comment directed at white van proceeding innocently around roundabout)